Thursday, January 2, 2014


I find that I cave to my addictions shortly after meeting a personal goal. Today has been hard for me. The end of the year brought the fulfillment of 2 goals -Fitness Challenge and remodeling/redecorating our bedroom. We have been talking about painting our room since we moved in almost 14 years ago and finally finished it yesterday. It is a beautiful sunshiny yellow with bright white trim. I've always wanted something to wake up to that looked warm and happy. We even celebrated by eating the pint of Culvers Chocolate covered Strawberry Frozen custard that has miraculously been patiently waiting in the freezer for over a week just for this momentous occasion. The moment was fantastic- We felt victorious in our hard work- yet today I find myself feeling lost and defeated. I was trying to decide if I felt bad because of the extra sugar or if I have a hard time moving on past the excitement and thrill of the finish. There are alot of things that I have planned to start with the new year and began some specific study topics with the kids, but I am having a difficult time feeling excited about starting up new goals and projects and feeling that I would rather bury myself in a hole and not think about anything for a few months. I know that this is where I usually end up depressed and discouraged and tend to make some really poor decisions about my everyday responsibilities and relationships. I am glad that the Spiritual Challenge starts next week, because I find I am a very grumpy waiter, when I don't have something to focus on.

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